Baffled King, Composing
by Notemaker
Summary: A bit of angsty HR fluff really. Half before 505 and half after.R&R&Enjoy x ps. might help if you play the vid at the same time or at least watch it..links in the story!


This came from watching Aerynox' video on you tube its a brilliant vid go watch it. Unfortuanatly I dont own them or Harry wouldn't feel like this.

R&R please X

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**I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you  
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing hallelujah**

**Hallelujah…**

He had never missed any one before. People came and people went throughout his life, in his line of work. He had never loved before, he realized that now. He had thought he'd loved; he had spent years with the same person. Had children with her, bought a house, shared his life, but now he knew he hadn't loved her. Or if he had it was a different kind of love. The one he felt for her was different to any thing he had felt before. He knew she was never going to leave him, she would always be there. Always smiling for him, holding out until they were together, keeping him in her heart and her in his. They would never be with out each other, without the flame burning in their souls. He knew that now.

**Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you**

It had taken them a long time to get together, but now they were he was happier than ever. That fateful conversation with Juliet after the accident had sparked off the re-admission of his feelings. Once it had been stated that Ruth was "in love with him" he had taken a moment to look at her in that way again. He had felt like that a while ago, but had shut the feelings away for fear of being rejected. He believed someone so beautiful, so intelligent would never, could never fall for someone like him. She should have people falling at her feet. She didn't.

**She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah**

**Hallelujah…**

She knew just what to do to him, without doing anything. Her smile lit a part of him he thought was dead. Her eyes staring in to his made him weak. She took him and broke him into pieces every day and rebuilt him adding a little of her steadying foundations in to his life. She made his days so much easier with just a knowing look, a comforting smile. She made him what he was, she changed him, made him a better person. Every time they touched he needed her more, every time they kissed he fell more in love with her.

**I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
But love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah**

**Hallelujah…**

He had never missed anyone before. But this time it was different. People came and people went throughout his life, in his line of work. But he had never felt this before. He had never really lost anyone before, not like this, not like her. An admission of love just seconds before she was taken from him. An admission that had never been.

**Well there was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me do you  
But remember when i moved in you  
And the holy dove was moving too  
****And every breath we drew was hallelujah**

He yearned to see her again. He knew it wasnt possible. She had touched him in ways no one had but she was no more. She didn't exist, she never would. He could never admit his worst fears to her, never tell her hers were not to be feared. He couldn't protect her. He couldn't save her. He was powerless to do his job, this wasnt the status quo any more. This wasnt normalcy, this was an abnormality, she was a crack, a blip, nothing more now. She had been so special, amazing, brilliant, but no more. She shone no more, she didn't shine. She didnt exist. It hurt him more than anything. It ripped through him again. Just days ago he had sat with her and discussed plans, plans for their future, which was also unspoken, known certainly but un-said.

**Well, maybe there's a god above  
But all I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
It's not a cry that you hear at night  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah**

**Hallelujah…**

He wouldn't let them see, he couldnt break down, he had a country to protect. A job she had given her life for. It should have been him, it shouldn't have been her. It shouldn't have been anyone. They all knew this could happen but her, not her, they had never thought it would be her. He couldn't cry, the tears didnt come. He had to be strong, she wouldn't want him to cry. The spark in his eyes had been extinguished as she sailed out of sight. It had ignited that day on the roof but it was gone now. They spirit inside him had died with her. He was cold now, broken and old. He didn't know how to carry on without her but he did, he did it dispite his feelings. He did it for her.

For the one he loved but couldn't have, couldn't save.

The one he left to a watery grave.

The one and only, his final one.

He called for her, she'd never come.

Not now, never again.

Not even for him.

**Composed by Leonard Cohen**.


End file.
